Author Topic: I need advice.  (Read 3199 times)

Offline feelergaugephil

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I need advice.
« on: May 08, 2017, 10:41:31 PM »
Here goes, will try keep this short.
My son (now 26) has rode motorcycles,  he definitely not the experience or skills of me, but, we try to implement them in them don't we.....!!!
In 2008 I let him ride my restored Yamaha RZ350, he was riding behind me (40 mph) on curvy road, he went wide and hit a Ford F250 head on,  air lifted out and went to hospital,  complete recovery, pins in his wrist.
Few years later,  I acquired a 1978 Yamaha DT250,  he begged and begged me to ride it, which I did, he loved it, he even rode Deals Gap on it until it blew up,  he was sad.
I then acquired a Kawasaki ZZR600 which he rode and simply fell off, 
His mother went ballistic and swore she would kill me if I let him ride again.
Now!  He knows I'm going back to Deals Gap and been begging me for a bike, his mother said NO....
Well, I kinda bought a great 02 Yamaha YZF600R,  very very clean... hmmmmmmmm.
Son rode it 3 times, loves it..... begs me, let me ride in Deals Gap with ya Dad!!!
HMM! not sure son, lets get some local riding in to get you used to it....
Rode last Sunday, he was behind me,  long long straight, I over take a 18 wheeler (maybe 45 mph) and I see son behind in mirror, I get closer to the front of cab, and I see the left turn signal on, so I instantly let off my gas (no brake)  well, I hear skid, then slight tap on my back wheel and son goes scraping past me......... I'm thinking OH GOD not again.......
Thankfully no injuries (only pride)  right side of yammy tore up,,,, he cries because he says that he's sorry and will pay all the damages, I told him that why we have insurance son......
Rode bike home.......
So with all that said.....................
Should I fix this bike (about $500) and sell it, and let him ride with me on the back of the Connie.
Should I fix this bike, let him ride very little in N.Carolina?
Should I NOT fix this bike and let him continue to ride, but I feel like a bag of nerves every time I look in the mirror.

I'm asking your opinions,  whether good or bad,     Thx guys.
Dont take my LOW post count as being a new Connie owner, I have been with the "other site" before it imploded........

13 Connie dressed in blue

Offline mikeyw64

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2017, 11:32:57 PM »
buy him a trike  :o ::) :P
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Offline Rick Hall

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2017, 12:21:33 AM »
Age, wisdom, experience. Pick two.

Rick
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Offline feelergaugephil

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2017, 01:11:01 AM »
Dont take my LOW post count as being a new Connie owner, I have been with the "other site" before it imploded........

13 Connie dressed in blue

Offline gPink

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2017, 03:40:30 AM »
At 26 he's a grown man. It's obvious he needs more training to survive on a motorcycle. If it were me I would help with his riding education (professional training) but I would not provide him with the means to kill himself.

Offline VirginiaJim

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2017, 04:00:43 AM »
+1
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Offline Conrad

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2017, 04:49:39 AM »
He's 26 and living at home then?

Listen to your wife.
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Offline maxtog

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2017, 05:42:36 AM »
26 is quite a few years into being able to do whatever he wants.  But from the sound of it, he has no business riding a motorcycle and I wouldn't support it in any way if I were you.  If he gets seriously hurt or killed, or kills someone else, neither you nor your wife are likely to be able to live with that.

Not everyone can climb mountains.
Not everyone can become a great painter.
Not everyone can play a musical instrument.
Not everyone can run a marathon.

Sometimes it is just not enough to want to be able to do something.
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Offline gPink

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2017, 05:52:30 AM »
I will add that it's great your son wants to be with you and share experiences. If riding proves not to be the appropriate  venue for this I would encourage you to find something else your both like to do together. Good luck.

Offline RFH87_Connie

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2017, 06:47:08 AM »
26 years old.  GPink pretty much hit my opinion.  Perhaps he's more suited to four wheels.  At a minimum, if it was me, I would stop all motorcycle financial support coming from myself as stated above.  We won't discuss other financial support as I still help with my oldest daughters rent.  Don't fix the bike yet unless you are selling it, or fix it and disable it - is it yours or his.  If he wants to continue, he should will take a few different professional classes to make sure he hasn't missed any fundamental training.  There are also multi-day classes around the US that pact a lot in.  Maybe even a motocross class.  And this should all be on his dime.
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Offline Rhino

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #10 on: May 09, 2017, 07:50:06 AM »
At 26 he's a grown man. It's obvious he needs more training to survive on a motorcycle. If it were me I would help with his riding education (professional training) but I would not provide him with the means to kill himself.

+2

Offline just gone

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2017, 08:01:55 AM »
Fix the bike and sell it.

I would not supply any more 2 wheeled vehicles to him.

I would supply a Motorcycle class (of any level) if his Mom approves.

If you continue to ride with him...you may end up in the hospital, as driving in your rear view mirrors can only last so long before you are the one crossing over the double yellow into the oncoming truck.

Offline Cholla

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #12 on: May 09, 2017, 12:55:06 PM »
Dont provide him with anything else m/c related. If he wants to ride it should be on his dime.
And if he wants to ride with you he has to get training. Until then, no.
And think of this-the wife doesnt want you to do it.
Just think how she would feel towards you if you provided him with a bike and something happened to him?
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Offline Classvino

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #13 on: May 09, 2017, 01:47:54 PM »
Age, wisdom, experience. Pick two.
Rick

In this case, might have to settle for one.

I have two friends in similar situations - their (late-teen) sons think they can ride, but their record proves otherwise. Both of the kids live with their mothers and my buddies aren't "allowed" to say Yes or No, and the kids are either financing their own bikes or getting their mothers to help out..  My buddies both wish they could say No, and one of them has received several midnight calls to go to see his kid in the hospital after wrecks and falls...  But the responsibility for their kids actions has been taken away from them. Fortunate or unfortunate depending on your point of view.

The kids are both the type that thinks the "Hoodlum rides" you see on Youtube are cool.  My thoughts would be to have nothing to do with your son and motorcycles together. But I also know there's always circumstances that complicate things.  Might end up being a "tough love" kind of thing...

Hope it works out well for you Phil.

Jamie
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Offline feelergaugephil

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #14 on: May 09, 2017, 06:38:08 PM »
Thank you all for your replies.
All duly noted, I ve decided to fix the bike back up to perfect and sell it.
He can ride on the back of me and enjoy the scenery without me worrying.
Thanks again all.
Dont take my LOW post count as being a new Connie owner, I have been with the "other site" before it imploded........

13 Connie dressed in blue

Offline maxtog

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #15 on: May 09, 2017, 07:18:42 PM »
Thank you all for your replies.
All duly noted, I ve decided to fix the bike back up to perfect and sell it.
He can ride on the back of me and enjoy the scenery without me worrying.
Thanks again all.

We all wish you the best of luck.  It can't be an easy thing to go through.  Hopefully he will eventually understand.  Make sure to also find other (perhaps safer) activities in which you can share time and experiences, too!
Shoodaben (was Guhl) Mountain Runner ECU flash, Canyon Cages front/rear, Helibars risers, Phil's wedges, Grip Puppies, Sargent World seat-low & heated & pod, Muzzy lowering links, Soupy's stand, Nautilus air horn, Admore lightbar, Ronnie's highway pegs, front running lights, all LED, helmet locks, RAM Xgrip, Sena SMH10, Throttle Tamer, MRA X-Creen, BearingUp Shifter, PR4-GT, Scorpion EXO-T1200,etc

Offline MAN OF BLUES

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #16 on: May 09, 2017, 08:42:28 PM »
Man, this is a hard bone to gnaw...
I bought my first bike after riding maybe an acuumulated 15 hours, on someone elses bikes, totally offnroad, dirt trails, vacant lots, construction sites... etc.

I was not 26, at that time I was 18 when I purchased, but did the riding prior... street riding is totally different, you get run over/into when you err.

That said, I didn't buy a "streetbike" until I had mastered the control, lack of control, idiosynchrsies, and many crashes into the dirt, well prior..

Seems the steps on bkike size and expectations, as used in many countries for "escalating bike sizes" based on time and usage have all been lost. I see it every day here, people buy a GPZxxxx+ bike for their son at graduation, and I say the next thing may be a funeral....litteraly, I see it.


All I can say is, sell the bike when fixed, toss that money on a "dirt only" bike, not to exceede 400 cc, make it a requisite to ride, and MASTER that machine completely, and then, sell it, and let the kid buy his own...

But then, at 26 years old? I'm saying step back, there is little you can do to "unlearn the stupid misconceptions" a person has for what it takes to responsibly stay alive, riding daily, on a road.

Education only works when those being "educated" can viably show, without a doubt, they comprehend, and can deliver the product of the effort.

I'm sorry, but somewhere, something is missing in this process so far, so many crashes, by soo many inconsistant behaviors, elicits this young man needs to stay off 2 wheels... until a point comes when he understands the outcome may result in death.


I'm at a point, where I debate this in my own mind, about passing bikes on toy grandson... before that day comes, I'll place a ladder next to the garage, and tell him to climb up on the roof...nthen coerce him to jump off... I'll work hard at it...,,,,,  but if he even considers it, he ain't riding..

46 YEARS OF KAW.....  47 years of DEVO..

Offline feelergaugephil

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Re: I need advice.
« Reply #17 on: May 10, 2017, 12:08:33 AM »
Dont take my LOW post count as being a new Connie owner, I have been with the "other site" before it imploded........

13 Connie dressed in blue