Author Topic: Old Morty  (Read 3139 times)

Offline Tree

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 314
  • Country: us
  • 21 Year Submarine Veteran - GO NAVY!
Old Morty
« on: October 20, 2017, 03:36:24 AM »
Mortimer is a Galapagos Turtle and very wealthy.  He managed a few internet startups back in the day and did very well.  He has a passion for the finer things in life and one of them is his Jewelry.  One of his favorite pieces is a solid gold medallion that he wears every day.  Inscribed upon the medallion is a partial lyric from one of his favorite songs – “Good times, Bad times, You know I’ve had my share”.  He loves that Medallion.  He has long since retired and settled down on Isla Isabela.  He was visiting friends in Puerto Villamil on this fateful day.

Old Morty (as his friends call him) was taking a stroll along the beach when he decided that it was time for a nap.  You can do that if you are a wealthy Turtle.  He slowly nestled himself into the sand and quickly drifted off to sleep.  Sea bird song and waves gently washing upon shore helped him to relax and he was soon dreaming about his pleasant life.

Soon after he had fallen asleep a pair of Sea Snails happened upon Old Morty.  This pair was bad news.  They were Phil and Bill Gastropada and they had both been recently released from the Brig.  According to them they had been falsely accused, ineffectively represented, and unjustly imprisoned for hijacking a shell.  The V.I.N. for the shell that they were travelling in was traced to the owner who identified the pair as the ones that took his shell while had been taking out the garbage. Phil and Bill were in a sour mood at this point in time.

Their mood brightened significantly when they spied Old Morty asleep upon the sand.  Of interest to them was the brightly shining medallion around his neck.  “That would bring a pretty penny” said Phil.  “Agreed” said Bill.  They crept up to the unsuspecting turtle and slowly, ever so slowly, removed the medallion and associated chain from around Morty’s turtle neck.  They made a hasty retreat with their prize when Old Morty was roused from his nap by their ministrations.  Old Morty immediately realized he had been robbed and called Shore Patrol.  He used his shell phone.

When Shore Patrol arrived, and began their interview, Morty was in bad shape.  He was shaken and unnerved by the entire experience.  When one of the officers asked him to describe what had happened all Morty could say was…

“I don’t know, IT ALL HAPPENED SO QUICKLY!”

Offline jimmymac

  • Arena
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1076
  • Country: us
Re: Old Morty
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2017, 11:26:43 AM »
Horrid. My jokes aren't even that bad!
The grass isn't always greener.

Offline Tree

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 314
  • Country: us
  • 21 Year Submarine Veteran - GO NAVY!
Re: Old Morty
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2017, 06:30:32 PM »
It is terrible.  But I killed a few hours on a recent graveyard shift writing it.  Thanks for reading and commenting on it anyway.


Horrid. My jokes aren't even that bad!

Offline jimmymac

  • Arena
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1076
  • Country: us
Re: Old Morty
« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2017, 11:51:47 AM »
 8)
The grass isn't always greener.

Offline Conrad

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5822
  • Country: us
Re: Old Morty
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2017, 01:35:59 PM »
It is terrible.  But I killed a few hours on a recent graveyard shift writing it.  Thanks for reading and commenting on it anyway.

A few hours?  :o

Well, at least it wasn't a waste of time since you got paid.    ;)
Northern Illinois   Silverdammit '08 C-14 ABS

"Don't bother me with facts, Son. I've already made up my mind." -Foghorn Leghorn

Offline VirginiaJim

  • Administrator
  • Elite Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11334
  • Country: england
  • I've forgotten more than I'll ever know...
    • Kawasaki 1400GTR
Re: Old Morty
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2017, 05:06:11 PM »
Eggcelent joke!  :thumbs:
"LOCTITE®"  The original thread locker...  #11  2020 Indian Roadmaster, ABS, Cruise control, heated grips and seats/w/AC 46 Monitoring with cutting edge technology U.N.I.T is Back! Member in good standing with the Knights of MEH.

Offline gPink

  • Arena
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5686
  • Country: cn
  • MMVIII C XIV
Re: Old Morty
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2017, 06:00:32 PM »

Offline VirginiaJim

  • Administrator
  • Elite Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11334
  • Country: england
  • I've forgotten more than I'll ever know...
    • Kawasaki 1400GTR
Re: Old Morty
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2017, 07:49:16 PM »
 :)
"LOCTITE®"  The original thread locker...  #11  2020 Indian Roadmaster, ABS, Cruise control, heated grips and seats/w/AC 46 Monitoring with cutting edge technology U.N.I.T is Back! Member in good standing with the Knights of MEH.

Offline Harvison

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 0
Re: Old Morty
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2017, 07:26:02 AM »
"Shell phone" got me. That was pretty good, Tree.

Offline Tree

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 314
  • Country: us
  • 21 Year Submarine Veteran - GO NAVY!
Re: Old Morty
« Reply #9 on: December 04, 2017, 10:51:57 AM »
"Shell phone" got me. That was pretty good, Tree.

I actually groaned out loud when I wrote it.  It was fun.  Thanks for the reply.   ;D