Someone has been stealing from my wife and I

[jworth]

I wouldn't leave a note.  I mean why tip her off? 

[Gsun]

Why has nobody mentioned that she needs help? I know, a drug addict and all, but obviously she needs help. No answer here, but why not talk to a professional and see if you can help her instead of throwing her in jail? Druggies do not belong in jail. They need help. If they are too far gone, then lock them up.

[Jaxter]

If the camera is set up in a bathroom you could be setting yourself up for some legal trouble

[Son of Pappy]

I would not trust her with the kids, obviously not a stable person. Be careful J.

Plus 10+
What is your wife suggesting?  Since it is a controlled substance I would seriously consider getting the MPs involved.  In no way would I recomend you or the misses confront her.

[Tim]

Jeremy - 6 years working in a prison taught me a few things. 1) don't confront her til you have proof; 2)if she'll steal your drugs, she'll steal your money and stuff - and WORSE she'll tell those who she knows what stuff you have, and it'll be stolen by them, when she has an alibi.
Personally, I'd set up a motion camera and catch her. In fact I'd let her steal actual pills. Once you have the proof you MUST go to the cops. Otherwise if you try to handle it "in-house" you're still at risk of "an inside job". Once the police are involved, that'll put enough of a scare to hopefully cross you off the "steal here" list. Also, without some serious intervention, she's gonna keep up the same behavior, and spiral downward. think about it, you didn't do anything wrong, she did. HTH, steve

Steve is right on.....I have worked as a LEO for 18 years. Use a camera or even a game camera to take a pic of your neighbor in the act. Count the number of pills writing down the date and time of the inventory.  When you return home, inventory again with the time performed. Use the real deal, no sugar or laxatives. Take whatever media you used along with your inventory times to your local PD and file your complaint. Once the officer has the facts, an interview would be in order. The reason you want to use the real deal is because sometimes the crook will give us the items. If she does this it’s just made the water tight case tighter.

You will have to be willing to go to court if she doesn’t plead. I have found if there is no wiggle room in your case the crook will often times will plead guilty. Writing good reports have cost me some good over time over the years.  So now your neighbor will be motivated to except she has a problem and the court could even order treatment.  Don’t expect her to get a lot of jail time unless she has a history.

Camera's have gotten cheaper over the years. I've seen some mini cams the guys would wear clipped on their shirt pocket.

Like some of the others have suggested, don't confront her. Tim

[Jeremy Mitchell]

I understand the catching her in the act part, I have been an MP for almost 12 years.  And no, she is not gonna be unsupervised in my house any more.  Her husband and I had a chat this evening and he has seen some changes in her over the past month or so just like my wife and I have.  My wife and I had spoken about her a couple weeks ago and made the decision not to let her watch the kids any more due to the fact that we thought she was having some issues with depression and showing signs of being bulimic.  Her husband is trying to convince her that mental health counseling isn't a bad thing and she hasn't been very receptive.  Who knows what will happen, hopefully she will accept the help that she needs.

No accusations, no name calling, no arguments, I am happy with how it went tonight and we are still on speaking terms.  Lesson learned for my wife and I.......no more meds that aren't under lock and key.

[Son of Pappy]

Well done!  Dealing with friends/neighbors/family and addictions are never easy.

[booger]

. She is the only person that my wife or I can think of that has had access to where the meds are kept without us being around. 

It doesn't have to happen while you are gone.  Any friends are relatives you had in your house during the holidays are suspect.  Rummaging through medicine cabinets is not as uncommon as you think.  Somebody might have been looking for a tampon, soap, mouthwash, aspirin or whatever and saw the Vicodin and bingo!!!!!

Not saying its OK, but it does happen.

[Jeremy Mitchell]

Pretty hard for someone to rummage when we haven't had any visitors for a couple of months.  We went to visit family for the holidays, and when we have friends over for dinner and drinks our bedroom door is shut and everyone uses one of our two other bathrooms.  I'm not saying that I am NCIS material or anything but I do have knowledge in investigations. 

[stevewfl]

The stats on our pill/prescription drugs problem in America is alarming, and sad.

[T Cro ®]

.... I'm not saying that I am NCIS material or anything but I do have knowledge in investigations.

With said knowledge you still have absolutely NO proof that she took the meds from your home; only thing you have told us for sure is that she does not want to tell the truth that she was fired from her last job not that she quit which is no crime

My opinion for what it's worth is still the same keep these type of meds under lock and key and don't give her the opportunity to rummage freely through your home again. Depending on what you and her husband spoke of it is likely that she will soon know that you are suspect of her.

[lt1]

Knowing vs Proof vs Evidence.  There is more than sufficient evidence to know that she is a risk to both children and property.  Proof in court is a different matter, but it is possible to know stuff that may not be provable in court.

IMHO, if the OP would be unwise to consider the risk so minimal as to invite reoccurance of the theft or to place his children in the care of a known druggie.

[jimmymac]

Bummer, Dude. I went pee next to your house.

It was dark out.

[Pokey]

You are handling the situation very well IMHO, that is a bummer and I am betting she is the culprit. I agree that addicts have no place in prison, unfortunatley most states are doing nothing about it.

[rcannon409]

I had this happen once a while back with a family member, but could not prove it.  I made a special bottle for the person to steal.  The generic vicodan was exchanged for stool softeners.  Any good addict takes more than oen at  a time anyway.

The next day it was fairly easy to figure out who it was. Oddly enough, nothing ever went missing again.

[rcannon409]

I had this happen once a while back with a family member, but could not prove it.  I made a special bottle for the person to steal.  The generic vicodan was exchanged for stool softeners.  Any good addict takes more than oen at  a time anyway.

The next day it was fairly easy to figure out who it was. Oddly enough, nothing ever went missing again. Probably not the right way to handle it, but I really did not feel like making her problem "my problem".   

[Jeremy Mitchell]

@ T Cro: you are correct, I don't have any proof.  That is why my wife and I have handled it the way we did.  We have eliminated the possibility of this happening again by using lock box for meds, and this woman will have VERY limited access to our home until we see a change.

Thanks everyone for the input.  I am embarrassed to admit that was naive enough to believe that I couldn't be stolen from by someone that my wife and I welcomed into our home.  Just sucks to think the worst about people that I should be able trust. 

[BlkBird]

It may be a bit naive but for me all it proves is that you want others to have the same respect and responsible point of view you have.  Unfortunately, many others will prey on the people that are the "good" people because of their trust.  Take it as a leaning experience and choose your friends more closely next time.

[Ron Dawg]

No need to be embarassed. Occasionally uncover employee theft in my work (I'm a business consultant) when I'm looking for unexpected cash drains and it's almost always a TRUSTED employee or family member. They're the ones with the most unrestricted access. The business owner ALWAYS is shocked. Always.

[Shadowofshoe]

   Well i'll chime in....I fell about 14 feet onto a concrete floor /feet first and a bit of compression. That said, there was a very popular non-prescription drug in the 80's (with a horrible reputation) when I was kinda young and quite successful and it was a hell of a lot easier to walk away from that than the prescribed medications (opioids)  for my back. One needs a plan for this sh%^ and that doesn't condone theft....although most addicts go there,My stepdaughter stole all my wifes percs  after her surgery recently. Really?? How the F can one justify that??

     Crappy Times in Mid-Class
           Mike
BTW-we all know who stole our stuff if its not a complete stranger.