Author Topic: I get to be first??? Cool!!  (Read 7775 times)

Offline wahrsuul

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I get to be first??? Cool!!
« on: December 18, 2013, 05:33:54 AM »
My standard intro on new boards:

A dynamic figure, I am often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. When cornering, I lean so far over that I drag both left and right pegs. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have thrown rocks at God but only hit a disciple. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet eaten coleslaw. I ride the best motorcycle ever made. I ride too fast to worry about my cholesterol levels.
1999 C-10: Knee savers, Givi trunk, Rifle windshield, KB risers, K&N...and counting...

What did I do to deserve this life?  And how do I do it again?

Offline VirginiaJim

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2013, 05:37:45 AM »
 :thumbs: :)
"LOCTITE®"  The original thread locker...  #11  2020 Indian Roadmaster, ABS, Cruise control, heated grips and seats/w/AC 46 Monitoring with cutting edge technology U.N.I.T is Back! Member in good standing with the Knights of MEH.

Offline tweeter55

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2013, 06:08:37 AM »
Oh...you'll fit right in, here. :chugbeer: :chugbeer:
Over the years:       1972 Harley Rapido
1972 Suzuki T350R  1979 BMW R100RT
1987 Honda Helix.    2006 Kawasaki Concours

Offline stevewfl

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2013, 06:19:41 AM »
“The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.” St. Augustine

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2013, 09:26:17 AM »
Welcome!!  So, what oil do you use? 8)

Offline B.D.F.

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2013, 09:59:02 AM »
That's nothing- I got to be the first person to mention the word 'KiPass' on this forum! Well, at least after the great forunami of '2011.

Brian

My standard intro on new boards:

<snip>

Homo Sapiens Sapiens and just a tad of Neanderthal but it usually does not show....  My Private mail is blocked; it is not you, it is me, just like that dating partner said all those years ago. Please send an e-mail if you want to contact me privately.

KiPass keeping you up at night? Fuel gauge warning burning your retinas? Get unlimited peace and harmony here: www.incontrolne.com

Offline MrPepsi

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2013, 10:28:27 AM »
Welcome to the punchbowl.
Brent Johnson 
2009 C-14 "Razzi"

Offline Conrad

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2013, 10:32:35 AM »
My standard intro on new boards:

A dynamic figure, I am often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. When cornering, I lean so far over that I drag both left and right pegs. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have thrown rocks at God but only hit a disciple. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet eaten coleslaw. I ride the best motorcycle ever made. I ride too fast to worry about my cholesterol levels.

He is, the most interesting man in the world!

Welcome!
Northern Illinois   Silverdammit '08 C-14 ABS

"Don't bother me with facts, Son. I've already made up my mind." -Foghorn Leghorn

Offline gPink

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2013, 11:36:01 AM »
We now know who Chuck Norris calls 'daddy'.

Offline BruceR

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2013, 11:50:22 AM »
We now know who Chuck Norris calls 'daddy'.
\
Well, since Chuck Norris helped to birth Himself, I guess technically, Chuck can call Himself 'Daddy".

Offline rhhall

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2013, 07:31:01 PM »
plus the mail order course in gynecology....
Welcome
rick  :thumbs:
rick
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14 Connie

Offline Tremainiac

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #11 on: December 23, 2013, 09:06:59 PM »
His greatness is only exceeded by his modesty!  :hail:
Hey mister, my sister has a Harley 'just' like yours!!
2009 Concours 14, 2003 Triumph Thunderbird Sport
1980 Honda CM400 street tracker, Grubee Skyhawk

Offline alexx45

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #12 on: December 27, 2013, 06:27:19 AM »
Welcome Sir. Your humility is humbling.
Life is good.... At least from my perspective.
2009 Concours 14
2005 Suzuki Bandit

Offline Gumby

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #13 on: December 27, 2013, 09:02:29 AM »
What do you do with prize winning clams?  :-\

Welcome to the asylum.  :thumbs:

Offline BruceR

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #14 on: December 27, 2013, 10:24:49 AM »
What do you do with prize winning clams?  :-\

Welcome to the asylum.  :thumbs:
Prize winning clam?  I completely missed the Jenna Jameson reference in the OP.
 :finger_fing11:

Offline Conrad

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Re: I get to be first??? Cool!!
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2013, 06:38:05 AM »
Prize winning clam?  I completely missed the Jenna Jameson reference in the OP.
 :finger_fing11:

 :rotflmao:
Northern Illinois   Silverdammit '08 C-14 ABS

"Don't bother me with facts, Son. I've already made up my mind." -Foghorn Leghorn