Author Topic: Golf  (Read 2026 times)

Offline Conrad

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Golf
« on: May 31, 2011, 09:53:41 am »
A husband takes his wife to play her first round of golf.   

    The wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the
window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

    The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have
to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy
drive is going to cost us."

    So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.   

    A man's voice said, "Come on in."

    When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done.
Glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on
its side near the broken window.

    A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that
broke the window?"

    "Uh, yeah, sir.. We're sure sorry about that," the husband
replied.

    "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You
see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes...
I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last
one for myself."   

    "Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and
blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my
life."

    "No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I
can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
 

    "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.

    "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every
country in the world," she said.

    "Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always
be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

    "Now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

    "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been
with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with
your wife."

    The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know
we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
 

    She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what
about you, honey?"

    "You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the
same for you!"

    So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the
rest of the afternoon enjoying each other in every way.. After about
three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly
into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

    "Why, we're both 45," she responded breathlessly.   

    "NO Joke." He said, "Forty-five years old and both of you still
believe in genies?"

Northern Illinois   Silverdammit '08 C-14 ABS

"Don't bother me with facts, Son. I've already made up my mind." -Foghorn Leghorn

Offline timmerz

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Re: Golf
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2011, 11:27:44 pm »
Bwaaaaaa..... ;D

Offline medicevans

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Re: Golf
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2011, 05:36:52 am »
hahahahahahahahha.  My wife is going to hate me when I tell her this one.  She always rolls her eyes at the jokes I tell off here.  I think it's more what I find funny than where the jokes are from though.