Author Topic: Marriage- what's the point?  (Read 13462 times)

Offline maxtog

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Marriage- what's the point?
« on: July 21, 2015, 06:40:11 pm »
Posted as a reply here to not further contaminate another thread

Way off topic, but not even sure there is really any point to "marriage" anymore.

You must be one of dem dare heterosexual haters ( I mean you are a heterosexual who hates.... not a person who hates heterosexuals)....

Sorry, I just could not resist.  :rotflmao:

Brian

No, I don't hate (disclaimer- nor have I ever been married).  Just an observation.  Based on....

I just see almost every marriage fail.  And with each generation it seems to get more prevalent.  Then it seems a majority of people think that having children outside of marriage is just fine because they are "not ready for marriage" or "marriage is too much commitment"????  (Yet children are not?).  I see couples that live together for 20+ years but never marry.  I see more and more people who marry that never have children, keep separate bank accounts, register everything in separate names, file taxes separately, etc.   Prenuptial agreements to make sure the finances are simpler when the more-certain-than-not divorce comes.  More women who don't want to take their husband's last names.   Others use ridiculously complex compound names (certainly nothing new, but seemingly more popular).  I even see CHILDREN with compound last names (yeah, that makes sense- then when the children get married, their children can have FOUR last names?).  Now marriage is redefined as not just man-woman, but also man-man or woman-woman.  Maybe threesomes are next?  Theoretically, you can gain all (or almost all) the same legal protections and functions of marriage without marriage through medical and financial powers of attorney, joint ownerships, wills, and other forms.  Divorces are easier and easier, faster and simpler.  Theoretically/fairly, married people shouldn't have any more rights or privileges compared people who don't- so that is another factor.  Then there are the people that get married when they shouldn't or get and then stay married for the wrong reasons when things are long gone.

Like I said, I don't even see the point anymore.  Call me jaded!  And yes, of course, my parents were divorced (at my age 6).  And my mother married and divorced twice more after that.

Maybe marriage is obsolete?
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Offline turbojoe78

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2015, 08:00:06 pm »
Posted as a reply here to not further contaminate another thread


Maybe marriage is obsolete?

Not to me.

I was married for 10 years the first time and after 9 of those years my wife didn't want to be married anymore.

Went 8 years single and got engaged and then married again and it's been 10+ years with 2 great stepdaughters and my wonderful 8 year old little girl.

My 28 year old daughter has been married for 2 1/2 years with a 6 year old son and 2 year old daughter.

Marriage is not obsolete to her either.  YMMV
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Offline stevewfl

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2015, 09:56:50 pm »
Tried marriage once. Nothing against it, but man wow I love single life!  ;D
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Offline gPink

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2015, 03:43:11 am »
A wise man once said 'Son, the best you can do in life is to have a lot of money, a good dog and live next to a whorehouse.'
YMMV
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Offline twowheeladdict

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2015, 03:46:07 am »
30 years for me.  Parents are closing in on 60 years.

I agree though that marriage is no longer the vows that most cited at the ceremony. 

It would be interesting to know when and why the tax breaks for marriage started.

My wife and I are partners and a team.  We have each others backs.  But we don't have to spend every moment together, nor do we rely on each other as our sole source of happiness. 'Whoa, easy there boy's ;)
« Last Edit: July 22, 2015, 03:05:13 pm by twowheeladdict »
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Offline MichiGlenn

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2015, 04:03:41 am »
Closing in on 28 years of marriage, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  We've struggled through the lows together, celebrated the highs together, prayed together and cried together.  Having that kind of a friend/partner/lover/encourager is truly a blessing. 
Our society has devalued the committed love in favor of cheap flings, and is poorer for it.
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Offline tweeter55

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2015, 04:38:02 am »
Closing in on 28 years of marriage, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  We've struggled through the lows together, celebrated the highs together, prayed together and cried together.  Having that kind of a friend/partner/lover/encourager is truly a blessing. 
Our society has devalued the committed love in favor of cheap flings, and is poorer for it.
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Offline VirginiaJim

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2015, 04:39:00 am »
38 years for me..wouldn't have it any other way.
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Offline Conrad

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2015, 04:48:34 am »
I met my wife in 1975 and married her in 1977 and we're still together and happy.

As Twowheeladdict said, we're partners and a team, a company if you will.  :)
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Offline timsatx

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2015, 06:52:44 am »
25 years for me. There have been tough times, especially in the beginning as my wife had been abused in her previous relationship. And it was fast for us so we didn't really get a chance to get to know each other well. As time went on it got much better. We too have been thru the highs and lows together and we are both the better for it. We raised three daughters (none were mine biologically) and out special needs son. Do we still have issues from time to time, sure, what couple doesn't, but at least it does devolve into some kind of vitriolic argument. More often than not we just walk away and let it blow over which is fine with me. I hate fighting with her.

Offline Rhino

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2015, 10:05:45 am »
39 years for me this September. Ups and downs like everything else. But among other benefits I have 3 great kids (including one that is my best riding partner with an FJR) and 5 fantastic grand kids. I hear what your saying Max but it does work out for some of us.

Offline fartymarty

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2015, 11:07:32 am »
It would be interesting to know when and why the tax breaks for marriage started.

It's been a while since we married, but our taxes went up right after we got hitched. I think there are some financial advantages for sure, housing, health insurance, utilities (depending on who is winning the household thermostat war that goes on continuously in mine) but taxes? I'm not sure we've saved anything there by getting married. Except for health insurance I don't think we saved anymore than if we just lived together, probably a lot less.

Offline B.D.F.

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #12 on: July 22, 2015, 11:48:21 am »
Sideways ONTOPIC:

I have a cousin who liked to live in a heated house that he could afford. His wife liked to live in a heated house and did not concern herself with financial matters. Hijinks ensued for several rounds with no clear winner.

Then he put in a second thermostat on the same wall, a few feet away. He wired the second thermostat and disconnected the original thermostat. He set the second thermostat for a combination of comfort / economy while his wife continued to set the first thermostat for a combination of comfort / insanity. She never noticed the other thermostat nor did she notice that the house was not at the temperature she had set but was happy just seeing the little red pointer close to 80F apparently.

This is where I would say they both lived happily ever after but alas, that did not happen. However, they never did have another conflict or issue of any kind with the heating / cooling of the house. The End.

Brian

It's been a while since we married, but our taxes went up right after we got hitched. I think there are some financial advantages for sure, housing, health insurance, utilities (depending on who is winning the household thermostat war that goes on continuously in mine) but taxes? I'm not sure we've saved anything there by getting married. Except for health insurance I don't think we saved anymore than if we just lived together, probably a lot less.
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Offline Rhino

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2015, 01:12:39 pm »
Sideways ONTOPIC:

I have a cousin who liked to live in a heated house that he could afford. His wife liked to live in a heated house and did not concern herself with financial matters. Hijinks ensued for several rounds with no clear winner.

Then he put in a second thermostat on the same wall, a few feet away. He wired the second thermostat and disconnected the original thermostat. He set the second thermostat for a combination of comfort / economy while his wife continued to set the first thermostat for a combination of comfort / insanity. She never noticed the other thermostat nor did she notice that the house was not at the temperature she had set but was happy just seeing the little red pointer close to 80F apparently.

This is where I would say they both lived happily ever after but alas, that did not happen. However, they never did have another conflict or issue of any kind with the heating / cooling of the house. The End.

Brian

Thought about doing exactly that although my plan was to have the second, real thermostat less obvious. My wife uses a thermostat as a switch. if she is cold, she sets it to 85 until she is hot then she sets it to 55 until she is cold. Rinse, repeat, I get the bill.

Offline BackInTheSaddle

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Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #14 on: July 22, 2015, 02:36:03 pm »
I am a big fan and have had 27 years of marital bliss - been married for 43  ;)
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