Author Topic: Marriage- what's the point?  (Read 12641 times)

Offline stevewfl

  • Arena
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4268
  • Country: 00
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #30 on: July 27, 2015, 08:29:54 pm »
Well, recently, in Ohio, all medical benefits have been cancelled to unmarried couples, so it may be an economic one for some. ;D

My company covers my medical no matter what state I reside in  ;D
“The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.” St. Augustine

Offline Strawboss

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 601
  • Country: us
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #31 on: July 27, 2015, 08:35:41 pm »
That may very well change with the recent Supreme Court ruling.
COG 5852-AMA Life 302525-NRA 9098599-SASS
2001 Concours-1982 KZ550A-1979 Triumph Bonneville-1995 Honda SA50

Offline stevewfl

  • Arena
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4268
  • Country: 00
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #32 on: July 27, 2015, 09:15:12 pm »
That may very well change with the recent Supreme Court ruling.

So single people won't have health insurance? ? Dude that's funny!
“The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.” St. Augustine

Offline stevewfl

  • Arena
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4268
  • Country: 00
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #33 on: July 27, 2015, 09:20:22 pm »
Why would I want to marry when I get older? Serious question. I've been thinking when I'm older I should settle down and marry but then I can't think of why I would do that?

If I don't man-up and marry Teressa, one day she may bail on me though.

Thus far she's smiling though  ;D




Back on topic of what's the point, my question was serious please help me understand  ;D
“The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.” St. Augustine

Offline Strawboss

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 601
  • Country: us
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #34 on: July 27, 2015, 09:29:14 pm »
The question was what is the point of getting married, what I said was now people who lived together now will have to get married to get benefits, a point to think about when asking about whether to get married or not. If 2 people choose not to get married, they can get benefits as single people, but it will cost a lot more than if they were married. I thought the point was very relevant and I thought it was certainly something to think about in coming months. BTW, I lived with my wife for 4 years before getting married in 1992 and type of benefits, health, dental, eyes, car, house, etc... was far less expensive married than as 2 single people.
COG 5852-AMA Life 302525-NRA 9098599-SASS
2001 Concours-1982 KZ550A-1979 Triumph Bonneville-1995 Honda SA50

Offline stevewfl

  • Arena
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4268
  • Country: 00
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #35 on: July 27, 2015, 10:17:26 pm »
Oh OK, understood thanks. I don't live with her, plus I don't think saving a few bux on rent and benefits is the reason I'd marry is why I missed the point, my bad. Other than as a business proposition for cheaper health care is there a point?
“The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.” St. Augustine

Offline fartymarty

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1552
  • Country: us
  • COG#9712 '10 ABS
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #36 on: July 27, 2015, 11:38:24 pm »
The question was what is the point of getting married, what I said was now people who lived together now will have to get married to get benefits, a point to think about when asking about whether to get married or not. If 2 people choose not to get married, they can get benefits as single people, but it will cost a lot more than if they were married. I thought the point was very relevant and I thought it was certainly something to think about in coming months. BTW, I lived with my wife for 4 years before getting married in 1992 and type of benefits, health, dental, eyes, car, house, etc... was far less expensive married than as 2 single people.

Could you explain to me how the house car and etc. became cheaper by being married versus just living together? None of that happened to me when I married. The only thing I noticed was that the income taxes went up immediately.

I'm not sure there is much benefit anymore. I guess perhaps the auto insurance might be better, but I'm not sure that marriage is required since they refer to it as a multi-car household or multi-car discount. Perhaps just a common address is all that is needed.  Living together would save the same amount on home (be it rent split or dual ownership of a home neither requires marriage) utilities etc all the same regardless of marriage. Until recently the health insurance benefits saved money, but with Obama Care?..maybe not. If one person in a live together relationship has good insurance and pay, the other person may qualify for partial government funding of their health insurance and they may end up paying less than what the primary earner would pay extra to get family coverage. Even if children are in the mix (for health coverage purposes) I think only dependency is needed for them to be covered not marriage. The health insurance savings question could go either way as to which saves more money, but it would vary on each situation and wouldn't really be all that much savings to get married for I would think. I'm probably missing something, but it seems that only making health care decisions for another (unable to do so for themselves) and the rare family only access in medical crisis are the advantages now, and with enough forethought those might be served with powers of attorney documents instead of a marriage certificate. If I recall correctly, older folks are not getting married, but rather living together in many cases so that Social security doesn't lower their benefits.

Offline Rembrant

  • Arena
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 466
  • Country: ca
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #37 on: July 28, 2015, 04:28:27 am »

No, I don't hate (disclaimer- nor have I ever been married).  Just an observation.  Based on....

I just see almost every marriage fail.  And with each generation it seems to get more prevalent.

My mother told me a long time ago, that there are two main reasons that marriages fail: Disagreements over money and/or children.
Not that there's anything wrong with money OR children, but they both become things to fight over. (My wife and I both came from divorces that happened when were too young to remember)

I don't think I thought much of her comments at the time, but all these years later, what she said does appear to be true. I can only comment on what I see and what I'm exposed to in my little world of course;). A good friend of mine in his mid-30's is currently going through a really nasty separation...three young children, and no money. He is an absolutely fantastic father (from the little I see) but he's starting down a very difficult road.

I have no idea about what the laws are in the states...but here in Canada...it doesn't really matter whether a couple is married or not. Once two people are living together...according to every legal aspect, they ARE married.

The few couples that we know that are not married, are simply not married due to the costs involved. A wedding costs money.

The question was what is the point of getting married, what I said was now people who lived together now will have to get married to get benefits, a point to think about when asking about whether to get married or not.

That's interesting...

Are couples having to get married to get family medical insurance?

Of course things are different here in Canada with our so-called "free" healthcare, but we still do have separate medical / health insurance that we can buy through our employers or 3rd party...but there's no cost savings in being married. The price is the price, per person. I pay about $235/month for both my wife and I, and it covers all the extra stuff that our national healthcare program doesn't cover...dental, eye care, short and long term disability, etc.

My wife and I have been together for 18 years, and married for 16. We had a quick and dirty cheap JOP wedding that cost next to nothing. For me...I wouldn't necessarily say what is the point of getting married, but I would say hat is the point of a big massive expensive wedding when the money can usually be better used elsewhere.

Rem

“If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain.” ~ Winston Churchill.

Offline twowheeladdict

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1198
  • Country: 00
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #38 on: July 28, 2015, 11:44:41 am »
Oh OK, understood thanks. I don't live with her, plus I don't think saving a few bux on rent and benefits is the reason I'd marry is why I missed the point, my bad. Other than as a business proposition for cheaper health care is there a point?

Other than the business proposition, the only point of getting married is showing that you are willing to commit to a monogamous life with one person through all the good and all the bad.  Today, marriage has lost that commitment.  So, other than doing it because you are being faithful to your God, there is no reason to get married. 
My Concours Travels:
2014 New England Tour http://www.zggtr.org/index.php?topic=17336.msg212077#msg212077

Offline twowheeladdict

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1198
  • Country: 00
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #39 on: July 28, 2015, 11:50:54 am »

The few couples that we know that are not married, are simply not married due to the costs involved. A wedding costs money.



My wife and I have been together for 18 years, and married for 16. We had a quick and dirty cheap JOP wedding that cost next to nothing. For me...I wouldn't necessarily say what is the point of getting married, but I would say hat is the point of a big massive expensive wedding when the money can usually be better used elsewhere.

Rem

You had a next to nothing cost wedding.  Sounds like your friends are just using the cost as an excuse.  Many people have commitment issues.  There are times when I am not fun to live with.  There are times when my wife is not fun to live with.  If one of us had a major illness to battle, it could wipe out both our retirement plans.  If you are single, you only have to think about you, and your decisions only affect you.  Marriage can be too much responsibility for some folks.
My Concours Travels:
2014 New England Tour http://www.zggtr.org/index.php?topic=17336.msg212077#msg212077

Offline B.D.F.

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4791
  • Country: 00
  • It's only really cold if you fall down in it.
    • C-14 farkles you almost cannot ride without.
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #40 on: July 28, 2015, 01:16:36 pm »
Of course I am not sure how things are in Canada but yes, there are legal changes, benefits and rights extended to married people in the US that often do not apply to 'a couple' in a non- married situation.

When married in the US, the spouses both become the nearest 'next of kin' of each other, able to make health care choices, inherent property (automatically, just by being married) and various other advantages. A spouse cannot be compelled to testify against a spouse but that does not in any way apply to people who have or are acting as a couple. There are US Gov't 'death benefits' given to a spouse but not any other 'couple'. A spouse (with some restrictions but speaking generally here) can and often does get the Social Security pension of the spouse that dies first, and for the rest of the living spouse's life; that does not apply to a [ non- married couple]. These and quite a few other issues are why the gay marriage issue was.... well, such an issue. It is also why the issue really could not have been decided any other way than it was by the US Supreme Court a little while ago: our Constitution provides for "equal protection under the law" (twice, in the 5th and 14th amendments) and so as married couples are given certain protections (which include privileges and advantages by the way), then same- sex couples who could not get married, or have their married status [not recognized] in some states were being denied those 'equal protections'.

Again, strictly from the legal point of view, reading 'The Big Book of Rules' (the Constitution) that we live under, there was just no other way to apply that rule in my opinion, as well as the opinions of 5 out of 9 of the Supreme Court justices.... their opinion carrying significantly greater weight, at least outside my house.  ;D  It really does not have anything to do with what a person's opinion or belief system is, it is just a matter of following our own law. If, as a country, we really did not / do not want gay marriage, then we would have to change the Constitution by writing and ratifying a new amendment.

Brian


<snip>

I have no idea about what the laws are in the states...but here in Canada...it doesn't really matter whether a couple is married or not. Once two people are living together...according to every legal aspect, they ARE married.

<snip>

Are couples having to get married to get family medical insurance?

Of course things are different here in Canada with our so-called "free" healthcare, but we still do have separate medical / health insurance that we can buy through our employers or 3rd party...but there's no cost savings in being married. The price is the price, per person. I pay about $235/month for both my wife and I, and it covers all the extra stuff that our national healthcare program doesn't cover...dental, eye care, short and long term disability, etc.

<snip>

Homo Sapiens Sapiens and just a tad of Neanderthal but it usually does not show....  My Private mail is blocked; it is not you, it is me, just like that dating partner said all those years ago. Please send an e-mail if you want to contact me privately.

KiPass keeping you up at night? Fuel gauge warning burning your retinas? Get unlimited peace and harmony here: www.incontrolne.com

Offline Rembrant

  • Arena
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 466
  • Country: ca
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #41 on: July 28, 2015, 04:33:07 pm »
You had a next to nothing cost wedding.  Sounds like your friends are just using the cost as an excuse. 

Yes...I suppose it looks like an excuse doesn't it? I was really referring to a specific couple when I said that...but these guys don't make excuses...and they don't have commitment issues either...they're just cheap...LOL. After all, some couples DO want that big expensive wedding...others not so much. 

Of course I am not sure how things are in Canada but yes, there are legal changes, benefits and rights extended to married people in the US that often do not apply to 'a couple' in a non- married situation.


Interesting stuff. I had no idea.

I took a look with Dr. Google to check my facts...I may have spoken too loosely...the Common Law marriage rules vary by province apparently...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage

I only went to read the Canadian section (about half way down) but there is some info on the US closer to the bottom. Looks like Rhode Island is one of 9 states that has some sort of common law marriage rules...

Anyway...I'm happily married...and I don't mind buying the cow even when the milk is free...lol.
I don't care much what the rest of the world does.

Hey BDF...I'll be down your way again in late Sept or Oct. I'll be in touch...I owe you some spare ribs and rice?...lol.

Rem
“If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain.” ~ Winston Churchill.

Offline gPink

  • Arena
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5562
  • Country: us
  • MMVIII C XIV
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #42 on: July 28, 2015, 04:36:47 pm »
You better hope the cow doesn't read the forum....just sayin
Thank God for good men willing to do extreme violence.

Offline maxtog

  • Elite Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8214
  • Country: us
  • 2011 Silver
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #43 on: July 28, 2015, 04:48:43 pm »
My mother told me a long time ago, that there are two main reasons that marriages fail: Disagreements over money and/or children.
Not that there's anything wrong with money OR children, but they both become things to fight over. (My wife and I both came from divorces that happened when were too young to remember)

I don't think I thought much of her comments at the time, but all these years later, what she said does appear to be true.

There are other main reasons too- infidelity and control issues.  From what I have seen, those seem to be just as prevalent.

Quote
I have no idea about what the laws are in the states...but here in Canada...it doesn't really matter whether a couple is married or not. Once two people are living together...according to every legal aspect, they ARE married.

Indeed.  Canada is different.  And from what I understand, Quebec is even MORE different... to the point of marriage almost being irrelevant.

Quote
The few couples that we know that are not married, are simply not married due to the costs involved. A wedding costs money.

Well, technically, from what I understand about most western countries, you don't have to have a "marriage" to be married.  It is just a license, which is a piece of paper.  You apply for a license, go in front of a Justice, and bam, married.  I think that can't cost more than a few hundred $ tops.

Quote
Are couples having to get married to get family medical insurance?

Sometimes, yes, sometimes no (as opposed to just getting singles coverage each).  It depends on the state and on the insurer.   For many, it is no cheaper being married than not.   And it really *shouldn't* be any cheaper either... there is no special, magical consideration that should make married couples less expensive to insure.

Anyway insurers often need some legal definition for what constitutes "family". At my employer and with their plans, if you want to cover someone else that lives with you, they just be "direct family", which they define as your children and/or spouse.

What Strawboss said is the other major financial reason- car insurance.  Insurers are allowed to discriminate based on age, gender, and marital status; and so they do.  Why marital status?  I don't know.  Again, they have magical numbers that tell them OVERALL that married people are more responsible and better drivers.  That men are in more accidents.  That young people are many, many times more likely to have an accident (as are the very old).  However, they can't discriminate based on religion, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, or many other factors; regardless of how good a predictor THOSE factors might be.
Shoodaben (was Guhl) Mountain Runner ECU flash, Canyon Cages front/rear, Helibars risers, Phil's wedges, Grip Puppies, Sargent World seat-low & heated & pod, Muzzy lowering links, Soupy's stand, Nautilus air horn, Admore lightbar, Ronnie's highway pegs, front running lights, all LED, helmet locks, RAM Xgrip, Sena SMH10, Throttle Tamer, MRA X-Creen, BearingUp Shifter, PR4-GT, Scorpion EXO-T1200,etc

Offline maxtog

  • Elite Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8214
  • Country: us
  • 2011 Silver
Re: Marriage- what's the point?
« Reply #44 on: July 28, 2015, 04:50:31 pm »
Other than the business proposition, the only point of getting married is showing that you are willing to commit to a monogamous life with one person through all the good and all the bad.  Today, marriage has lost that commitment.  So, other than doing it because you are being faithful to your God, there is no reason to get married.

And, with the few unfair financial situations that we have pointed out, and a sprinkle of legal protections that can't be done otherwise (like testifying in court), you have made my point exactly for this entire thread.
Shoodaben (was Guhl) Mountain Runner ECU flash, Canyon Cages front/rear, Helibars risers, Phil's wedges, Grip Puppies, Sargent World seat-low & heated & pod, Muzzy lowering links, Soupy's stand, Nautilus air horn, Admore lightbar, Ronnie's highway pegs, front running lights, all LED, helmet locks, RAM Xgrip, Sena SMH10, Throttle Tamer, MRA X-Creen, BearingUp Shifter, PR4-GT, Scorpion EXO-T1200,etc